Kagro in the Morning

Some of y’all can’t handle two high agency men, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin, talking over each other… but if you can, you came to a good place. And yet, there's no way to delay that trouble coming every day. We all know what happens when armed forces are deployed as police. Donald K. Trump knows. Even his idiot son can figure it out. What really happened outside the Paramount Home Depot doesn’t matter to Homan, Miller, Hegseth or Trump. It’s what they can do to bait all of the protestors, or even just one or two of them. The White House dropped a steaming pile of memoranda that only smells like it violated Posse Comitatus. The Guard is only there to “put down rebellion”, and rebellious protestors always have the choice to turn off their cell phones or be put down. California Gov. Gavin Newsom invited Tom Homan onto his podcast but won’t pay his airfare. The full force of the DOJ and FBI were brought to bear on the world’s most notorious super criminal Kilmar Abrego Garcia, in order to come up with something with which to charge him. Now they can all go back to arresting the Deep State like they promised they would. That’ll finally make America great again. Trump’s fat ugly bill increases the national debt by $2.4 trillion, but more importantly it will kick 11 million people off their health insurance. As always, the cruelty is the point. Fox is running out of carpet to sweep the Trump tariffs under. Each day it becomes harder to outrun the facts on Trump deportations. Whatever happened to the US-Britain trade deal? You’d think that this administration wasn’t being completely honest with everyone.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin pull out all the stops on today’s KITM! David predicted that North Korea would be the US Hassle Target of the Day, but who would guess that it would turn out to be Burma! That and every other country darker than Trump’s spray tan. That’s the same criteria Stephen Miller has outlined for ICE deportations. The problem is, MAGA knows some of “those good ones”. They’d never eat dinner with those people, of course, but they sure enjoyed being served dinner by them. Time for Trump’s three-word EO: “No, not them.” Meanwhile, arrest the moms, arrest their kids, arrest them all, let Trump sort them out. The Trump administration is spending $2 million to figure out whether those people cause plane crashes. If the report comes to conclusions that Trump doesn’t like, they’ll bury it, like the recent Agriculture Department trade analysis. Or say it’s a Dem cult, like the American Bar Association, the Congressional Budget Office, or Jews. Howard Lutnick wants retribution over reciprocity even when neither is deserved. Trump cut nearly 2,500 NIH research grants as whatever the cure was wasn’t going to be named after him anyhow. Elon Musk is gone but not forgotten. Big Balls carries on. ICE is hot for the DC career conscious, but that leaves the counter-terrorism field wide open for enterprising grocery store clerks like Thomas Fugate, whose eyebrow game in on point. Andrew Cuomo is somehow, again, the guy to beat for NYC Mayor, while in Canada they like their winners a lot more than their losers.

It’s Elon Musk is Going to Hell™ Day on KITM! It’s true! I mean, it really is that day, anyway. Though perhaps every day is that day. But what we’re really interested in is his ETA. The New York Times connects with a one-two combination today. First, Elon is a huge druggie. And second, that his legacy is starving 300,000 kids to death. His “boss,” meanwhile, shows us what happens when you apply White Panic Central Park Five thinking to immigration. For all the claims that they would target “criminals,” hardly any of the Venezuelans sent to CECOT have any record at all. Looks like the “worst of the worst” is another Every Republican Accusation is a Confession™ situation! But what can I tell you? Actually governing is hard work. Dan Boingoboingo is learning that as we speak! So that must be why the government has to make sure to hire only loyalist drones. And get all of its “intelligence” only from loyalist drones. And as back-up to all that, nominate to the bench only… more loyalist drones. Hey, remember that plane Qatar was “gifting” to Trump? Well, they might be stuck with the framing, but Qatar isn’t ready to put up with the supposed “transfer” to his “library.” Qatar wants to set the record straight! From the “It’d be Irresponsible Not to Speculate” files: It used to sound crazy to wonder whether the president of the United States was holding up a vaccine’s development in order to be cut in on the profits. Is that still the case?

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin recalled that today was Wednesday, and many more useful and interesting things on today’s KITM: MAGA didn’t just move the Overton Window, they... threw it out the window. We now expect a punch in the face over a handshake. We expect losers to win, winners to lose, enemies to have our back, and fools to inform us. How much should politicians follow political consultants and polls? Well, let’s consult the numbers with this expert! Like no other president before him, Donald K. Trump feels the pain of jury-convicted celebrity tax-cheats and fraudsters who hate Joe Biden and arrange to give him $1 million or more up front. Poor Elon! The only way Musk would ever get a Starship to Mars is if he took the stick and flew it himself. MAHA! A-ha! “Ah... No” say the different factions of crazy in health nuts. Honky Tonk Man wanted to be the “El Kabong” of WWF, but he was more like the “JD Vance” ... who btw has Jeb Bush charisma wrapped in Steven Miller whimsicality. Meanwhile, Senate Democrats could do something, if only Senate Democrats did things. People who do fight Trump, do win.

It's Memorial Day, so Greg & I are having a BBQ breakfast, and knocking off for the day. But I thought you might like a little something to play in the background, if you're grilling breakfast, too. How about something from back when That F-ing Guy was The Former Guy, and a criminal defendant, to boot? Here's how things looked last year, at about this time: David Waldman has had enough grilling and hammocking, back to the microphone! Closing arguments have begun in the People of New York vs. Orange J. Turd, and well, he might not be as easy to flush as one would think standing outside the stall. Once reelected, fake electors plan to fake elections better. The Washington Post buried the Alito upside-down flag story for three years, because who doesn’t signal international distress when attacked by passive-aggressive lawn signs? Martha-Ann Alito ran a “novelty flag” up the pole to show reporters she wasn’t one to trifle with. Who knows what novelty flag she chose, it would depend on which county fair she bought it at. None of that explains the Alito Pine-Solflag at their beach home. In order to understand that, and the fast growing New Apostolic Reformation Christain Nationalist movement, you need not just one, but two comprehensive guides on hand. The Texas GOP platform calls for the Bible in schools, and for Texas dirt to have more of a vote than urban Blacks. Ace KITM Correspondent Rosalyn MacGregor reports on Sarah Leach, a West Michigan newspaper editor who tried to staff a dozen understaffed newsrooms before her employer, Gannett, fired her. Pumping out pink slime isn’t just cheaper, but no employees are more tractable than any employees. Ohio Republicans are having fun keeping Joe Biden off the presidential ballot. Governor Mike DeWine might be an Ohio Gop, but as with COVID, he’s no idiot.