The Art of Manliness

When we think about what shaped our life trajectory, we often focus on the way our parents raised us. But what about our siblings? What role do they play in who we become? My guest today makes the case that siblings may be just as influential as parents in impacting how we turn out. Her name is Susan Dominus, and she’s a journalist and the author of The Family Dynamic: A Journey into the Mystery of Sibling Success. Susan and I start our conversation by unpacking the broader question of what drives human development more — nature or nurture. We then dig into how siblings shape us, from the impact of birth order to how rivalry can raise our ambitions and alter our life paths. Along the way, we also explore the influence parents do have on their kids — and why it may not be as strong as we often think. Connect With Susan Dominus Susan's websiteSusan's faculty pageSusan at the NYT See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In a story from ancient Greek philosophy, Hercules faces a choice between two paths: one promising pleasure and ease; the other, hardship and struggle — but also growth and greatness. According to today’s guest, this ancient parable is more relevant than ever. Dr. Paul Taylor, a psychophysiologist and the author of the new book The Hardiness Effect, returns to the show to argue that comfort has become our default mode — and it’s making us mentally and physically sick. To reclaim health and meaning, we must actively choose the path of arete — a life of effort, engagement, and challenge. Paul first outlines the four traits that define a psychologically hardy person and how we grow by embracing and even relishing discomfort. We then dive into the physiological side of hardiness. We discuss how intentionally seeking stressors can strengthen both body and mind and some of the practices and protocols that lead to optimal health. We end our conversation with what tackling heroic, Herculean labors looks like today. Resources Related to the Podcast Paul's previous appearance on the AoM podcast: Episode #941 — How to Avoid Death by ComfortAoM Podcast #1,087: Why You Need the Good Stress of SocializingAoM Podcast #793: The New Science of Metabolism and Weight Loss with Herman PontzerAoM podcast on the benefits of sunlight"Don't Die: Eat More Small Fish" by Michael EasterAoM Article: Nature’s Prescription — The 20-5-3 Rule for Spending Time OutdoorsNorwegian 4X4 HIIT ProtocolAoM article on Zone 2 CardioOmega-3 testingConnect With Paul Taylor Paul's website See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We live in a culture that does everything it can to keep death at a distance. We hide it behind hospital curtains, euphemize it in conversation, and hustle through grief like it's just another item on the to-do list. We don't want death to get in the way of living. But my guest would say that making friends with death is the key to fully embracing life. Joanna Ebenstein is the founder of Morbid Anatomy, a project that uses exhibitions, lectures, and classes to explore how death intersects with history and culture. She's also the author of Memento Mori: The Art of Contemplating Death to Live a Better Life. Today on the show, Joanna shares why we lost a more intimate relationship with death and the life-stifling consequences of that disconnect. We discuss practices for coming to terms with death and removing our fear of it, including looking at memento mori art, meditating on death, talking to the dead, and simply taking care of the practicalities surrounding our inevitable departure. Resources Related to the Podcast AoM Article: What Man Understands That He Is Dying Daily? (This Is Your Life)AoM Article: Memento Mori — Art to Help You Meditate on Death and Become a Better ManAoM Article: A Primer on Advance DirectivesAoM Article: How To Protect Your Legacy — A 3-Step Guide to Estate PlanningSunday Firesides: Look Into the TombSunday Firesides: As I Am NowVictorian Memorial HairworkThe Dance of DeathVanitas artThe Smell of Rain on Dust: Grief and Praise by Martín PrechtelSleeping Beauty: Memorial Photography in America by Stanley B. Burns Death: A Graveside Companion by Joanna EbensteinConnect With Joanna Ebenstein Morbid Anatomy websiteJoanna's website See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

If you went to high school in America, you probably read Moby-Dick — or, more likely, you skimmed the CliffsNotes and wondered why this dense, whale-obsessed novel was considered a classic. That was me in 10th grade. But earlier this year, I decided to revisit Moby-Dick in midlife, and it hit me completely differently. What once seemed like a tedious story about a guy chasing a whale revealed itself to be a profound meditation on free will, perception, self-reliance, leadership, and obsession. It’s now one of my favorite novels. To help unpack why Moby-Dick endures — and why it might be worth picking up again— I’m joined by Mark Cirino, a professor of American literature. Today on the show, we discuss why Moby-Dick was initially overlooked, the novel’s major themes, and the timeless mystery of Captain Ahab’s monomaniacal quest. Resources Related to the Podcast Episode #786: The Writing Life of Ernest HemingwayEpisode #922: For Whom the Bell TollsOne True PodcastThe Norton Library PodcastMark's Norton Library Edition of A Farewell to ArmsConnect With Mark Cirino Mark’s faculty page See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

There's been a lot of talk about morning routines in the last few years. But the idea is hardly new; famous men from Thomas Aquinas to Benjamin Franklin structured their mornings to accomplish great deeds and live flourishing lives. A modern advocate of this age-old practice is Hal Elrod, author of The Miracle Morning, first published nearly twenty years ago. Long before morning routines became a trend, Hal was experimenting with his own — researching and refining what actually works. Through his experiences and those of the millions who’ve tried his approach, he’s cut through the aspirational noise to offer a doable, effective framework for starting your day right. Today on the show, Hal shares the six practices of the Miracle Morning routine, why he chose them, and how they set up your day for success. We also discuss how long the routine takes and how a shortened version can be done in just six minutes, as well as how to make it work if you're not a morning person. Along the way, I share what my own morning routine looks like. Resources Related to the Podcast The Stockdale ParadoxAoM Article: Bookend Your Day — The Power of Morning and Evening RoutinesAoM Article: How to Hardwire Your HappinessConnect With Hal Elrod Hal's websiteHal on IGHal on FBHal on XHal on LinkedIn See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What does it mean to be a man? It’s a timeless question that's been answered in different ways across the ages. For the ancient Romans, the word for manliness was virtus — the root of our word virtue. To be a man meant living a life of virtuous excellence. Waller Newell takes up that same definition in his book The Code of Man, first published twenty years ago and now released in a new edition. Today on the show, Waller, a professor of political science, argues that we need to recover an older vision of manhood rooted in the traditions of Western antiquity. He shares the five paths that, in his view, form the classical code of manliness and how they can continue to be lived out today. Resources Related to the Podcast Waller's previous appearance on the AoM podcast: Episode #104 — The Code of Man With Waller NewellAoM Article: What Is Manliness?AoM series on the origins and nature of manhoodAoM Podcast #1,028: The 5 Marks of a ManAoM Podcast #926: The 5 Shifts of ManhoodAoM Article: Got Thumos?AoM Article: What Is a Man? The Allegory of the ChariotAoM Podcast #871: Jane Austen for DudesSunday Firesides: Climb the Ladder of LoveConnect With Waller Newell Waller's websiteWaller's faculty page See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You may have heard of hormesis — the idea that intentionally embracing small stressors activates the body’s repair and defense systems, building resilience, improving how the body and even the microbiome function, and ultimately protecting against the harms of chronic stress. We typically think of these hormetic stressors in terms of things like exercising, taking ice baths, sitting in a sauna, and ingesting certain plant compounds. But you ought to consider adding socializing to that list. As my guest today explains, while we tend to avoid socializing as we do all stressors — even the good ones — it's something that can strengthen our health, resilience, immunity, and sense of meaning. Jeffrey Hall, professor of communication studies and co-author of The Social Biome: How Everyday Communication Connects and Shapes Us, joins me to discuss why relationships are harder to build in the modern world, how our adolescent approach to making friends needs to evolve, and why we must intentionally “exercise” our social muscles in a world where they'll otherwise atrophy. Resources Related to the Podcast Jeffrey's previous appearance on the AoM podcast: Episode #772 — How Long Does It Take to Make Friends (And How Does That Process Work, Anyway)?AoM Article: 3 Things No One Ever Told You About Making Friends in AdulthoodAoM Article: The Importance of Developing and Maintaining Your Social FitnessAoM Podcast #863: Key Insights From the Longest Study on HappinessAoM Article: Love Is All You Need — Insights from the Longest Longitudinal Study on Men Ever ConductedConnect With Jeffrey Hall KU’s Relationships and Technology LabJeffrey's faculty pageJeffrey on LinkedInJeffrey on IG See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Whether you’ve never stepped foot in a weight room or you’ve been lifting for years without seeing significant results, figuring out how to get big, strong, and jacked can feel overwhelming. There are endless programs, conflicting opinions, and a lot of noise about what actually works. Today on the show, Paul Horn offers a grounded, field-tested take on what really helps average guys get stronger and more muscular — without burning out. Paul is a strength coach and the author of Radically Simple Strength and Radically Simple Muscle. We discuss why you need to get strong before you get shredded, how and why Paul modified the classic Starting Strength program, the strength benchmarks men should be able to hit, when to shift from powerlifting to bodybuilding-style training, why you should train your lower body like a powerlifter and your upper body like a bodybuilder, the physique signal that shows you're in shape, the body fat percentage every man should get down to at least once in his life, and more. Resources Related to the Podcast AoM Podcast #154: Strength Training for EveryoneAoM Podcast #302: My Workout Routine & The Benefits of a Strength CoachAoM Podcast #826: From Novice to Advanced — The Weightlifter’s JourneyAoM Article: The Re-Rise of the MachinesAoM Article: Getting Ripped vs. Getting StrongPaul's video on how to stretch your shoulders for the low-bar back squatStarting Strength by Mark RippetoeAoM barbell training videos with Mark RippetoeConnect With Paul Horn Paul's website See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

For generations, the path to adulthood was straightforward: go to college, get a job, build a life. But many young men are beginning to question the college component of that path; tuition keeps rising, A.I. has made the professional landscape more uncertain, and there's just a sense that after four years at college, guys graduate feeling like they haven't been very challenged, haven't much changed, and haven't gained a lot of real confidence, competence, and concrete know-how. My guest today, Matt Smith, has created an alternative to college — a 4-year, 16-cycle curriculum designed to shape participants into Renaissance Men: skilled, self-reliant, and grounded in character. Matt co-authored The Preparation with his son Maxim, who is currently working his way through the program. In the first half of our conversation, Matt shares what kickstarted this idea and what's lacking in the education model for young men today. We then turn to the nuts and bolts of The Preparation, and Matt walks us through several of the program’s hands-on cycles — including earning EMT certification, building a house, and training as a fighter in Thailand — and how gaining these real-world skills prepares a young man for whatever is next in life. After the show is over, check out the show notes at aom.is/thepreparation See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Modern medicine has given us incredible tools to peer inside the body and spot disease earlier than ever before. But with that power comes a problem: the more we look, the more we find — and not everything we find needs fixing. My guest today, neurologist Dr. Suzanne O'Sullivan, argues that our culture of over-diagnosis is leaving many people more anxious, more medicalized, and sometimes less healthy. In her book The Age of Diagnosis: How Our Obsession with Medical Labels Is Making Us Sicker, she explains how screening tests, shifting definitions of “normal,” and the rise of mental health labels can turn ordinary struggles or idiosyncrasies into problems in need of treatment. We dig into everything from cancer and diabetes to Lyme disease and ADHD and discuss how diagnosis really works, why screening can sometimes harm as much as it helps, and how to know when a label is and isn't useful. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Most people think of anger as a problem — something to avoid or repress. It’s irrational, immature, and best left behind. But what if anger isn’t bad? What if it can actually be an incredibly positive, productive, energizing life force? My guest argues we’ve misunderstood anger — and that doing so has made us more anxious, depressed, and stuck. His name is Sam Parker, and he’s a journalist and the author of Good Anger: How Rethinking Rage Can Change Our Lives. Today on the show, we explore the surprising psychology and philosophy of anger. Sam explains how anger should be understood as a neutral emotion that imparts valuable information. He shares why we confuse anger with aggression, how anger can point to unmet needs and violated boundaries, and why repressing it might be damaging our health. We also talk about anger’s role in work, creativity, and relationships, and how to channel anger to help us achieve more, maintain our self-respect, and live a more grounded life. If you’ve ever thought anger was something to outgrow, this conversation may just change your mind. Resources Related to the Podcast Marcia Reynolds' TEDx Talk: How to Use Anger as a Force for GoodAoM Podcast #489: How to Get a Handle on Your AngerAoM Article: How Labeling Your Emotions Can Help You Take ControlConnect With Sam Parker Sam's websiteSam on XSam's Substack See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

When you picture a gunfighter, you probably think of a Hollywood cowboy — spurs jangling, six-shooter on his hip, squaring off at high noon in a dusty frontier town. But gunfighters weren’t just products of Hollywood. They were real men who lived and died by a code: one rooted in a particular sense of honor. My guest today is Bryan Burrough, author of The Gunfighters: How Texas Made the West Wild. We dig into the true story behind America’s gunfighting era — how it grew out of the South’s dueling culture, was intensified by the violence of post–Civil War Texas, and spread across the frontier via the cattle drive. We explore why so many gunfights had less to do with crime and more to do with reputation, why the Colt revolver transformed personal conflict into deadly spectacle, and how young men came to see violence as a rite of manhood. Along the way, Bryan also explores how gunfighters went from frontier figures to pop culture icons — and which films, in his view, captured their essence best. Resources Related to the Podcast Johnny RingoJohn Wesley HardinWild Bill HickokGunfight at the O.K. CorralFight scene in Gangs of New YorkAoM Article: The Best Western Movies Ever MadeAoM Article: 21 Western Novels Every Man Should ReadWhat Is Honor?Honor in the American South See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The ancient art of rhetoric has shaped political policies, influenced social movements, structured legal arguments, and molded cultural narratives throughout history. It's been used for three thousand years to persuade other people to change their lives. But what if you could use it to persuade yourself? My guest today says you can. Jay Heinrichs is the author of Aristotle's Guide to Self-Persuasion, and he explains how the same rhetorical techniques that great leaders and orators have used for millennia can be turned inward to help you change your life. We discuss how to identify your "soul" as your internal audience, use the concept of kairos to turn chaos into opportunity, create hyperbolic moonshot goals that inspire action even if you fall short, and employ ethos, pathos, and logos to achieve the habits and goals you aspire to. Along the way, we talk about how Jay used these self-leadership tools to go from barely being able to walk to attempting an athletic feat physiologists told him was impossible. Resources Related to the Podcast Jay's previous appearance on the AoM podcast: Episode #639 — Why You Should Learn the Lost Art of RhetoricAoM series on Rhetoric 101Connect With Jay Heinrichs Jay's websiteArgueLab See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Making big decisions can feel paralyzing. Whether it's choosing a new job, moving to a different city, or deciding if you should break up with someone, these choices can keep you agonizingly stuck, forever cycling through pros and cons. My guest can help you finally choose and move forward. That's what she does for a living. Nell Wulfhart is a professional decision coach who has all her clients reach a decision within a one-hour session. Today on the show, she explains why people get stuck when faced with big choices, why we often take way longer than we need to make a decision, and how this actually makes our lives worse. Nell then walks us through two practical exercises she uses with her clients to home in on the right option, and shares her tips on overcoming the paralysis that often attends making a big decision, as well as how to deal with the regret that inevitably comes with making tough choices. Maybe by the time our hour together is over, you'll have finally made the big decision that's been weighing on your mind. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In a world that often feels dominated by technology and constant change, it’s easy to forget that some people are still living by the rhythms of ancient traditions. James Rebanks, an author and shepherd, is one of them, and in today's episode, he shares what following a way of life that has endured for thousands of years can teach us about modern life and the things that matter. James offers a glimpse at the often ignored and misunderstood world of pastoral life in England's Lake District, which isn't just about working with sheep and cattle but maintaining a deep connection to past generations, a commitment to community, and a sense of purpose. He takes us through the life of a fell shepherd, where the timeless values of hard work, seasonality, stewardship, and stillness still get lived out day to day. Resources Related to the Podcast James' booksGrazing SchoolThe Poetics of Manhood by Michael HerzfeldBraiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall KimmererDying Breed article: 5 Things Farmers Have Taught Me About Work, Life, and LegacyWendell Berry's booksRegeneratist Allen WilliamsRegeneratist Greg JudyConnect With James Rebanks James on XJames on IG See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You're on an airplane that crash lands. Smoke fills the cabin, and you've got only seconds to react. How would you respond? Would you immediately take action — or freeze in place? While you might think you know how a scene like this would play out from watching movies, the reality of what occurs in the aftermath of a disaster is quite a bit different. And that knowledge gap could prove deadly. My guest, Amanda Ripley, spent years researching how humans actually respond in emergencies, interviewing their survivors, as well leading researchers. In her book, The Unthinkable: Who Survives When Disaster Strikes—and Why, she uncovers the myths and realities of survival psychology and explores the individual and structural factors that shape people's outcomes in unexpected crises. Today, Amanda explains why the biggest threat during an emergency isn't panic but passivity — and how to overcome the tendency to be overly complacent and compliant. We discuss why you might actually want to read the airplane safety card, what we can learn from the surprising calm that prevailed in the World Trade Center towers on 9/11, how to improve your risk assessment, what influences if you'll act heroically in an emergency, and much more. This episode will give you plenty to think about — and could even make the difference in how you respond if you're ever faced with the unthinkable. Resources Related to the Podcast AoM article on how to develop situational awarenessAoM article on why people respond passively to emergenciesBox breathingBeverly Hills Supper Club fireRick RescorlaConnect With Amanda Ripley Amanda's website

You've heard the advice that to build wealth, you need to earn more, spend less, and invest consistently. But what if there was a clearer way to understand exactly where you stand financially — and what steps you should take to reach the next level? My guest, Nick Maggiulli, offers just such a framework. Nick is the creator of the Of Dollars And Data blog, the Chief Operating Officer at Ritholtz Wealth Management, and the author of The Wealth Ladder. Today on the show, he unpacks the Wealth Ladder concept, taking the complex, often overwhelming concept of personal finance and distilling it into six easy-to-understand wealth levels, each tied to specific net-worth milestones and financial freedoms. Nick walks us through each rung of the Wealth Ladder, from getting out of financial instability to achieving restaurant and travel freedom, and eventually reaching upper levels of significant financial independence. We discuss the distinct strategies you should utilize on each rung to make the most of that level and move on to the next. And we get into why your spending decisions should be based on your net worth rather than your income, how wealth allocation changes dramatically as you climb the ladder, and why increasing your earning potential becomes more important than penny-pinching as you progress. Whether you're just getting started or well on your financial journey, this episode provides actionable insights and practical wisdom for climbing the Wealth Ladder and securing a life of greater freedom and fulfillment. Resources Related to the Podcast Nick's previous appearance on the AoM podcast: Episode #836 — Data-Backed Answers to Personal Finance ControversiesNick's previous book: Just Keep Buying: Proven Ways to Save Money and Build Your WealthNick's article: What is Coast FIRE? The Ultimate Guide to Semi-RetirementThe Missing Billionaires: A Guide to Better Financial DecisionsConnect With Nick Maggiulli Of Dollars and Data blogNick on XNick on LinkedInNick on IG

When you think of the microbiome, you probably think of your gut. But bacteria live all over your body. And they’re incredibly numerous; you play host to about as many microbes — a hundred trillion of them — as you do human cells. As my guest will explain, these microbial ecosystems are not only ubiquitous but hugely influential for your health — impacting everything from your weight and mood to your risk of developing many diseases. Dr. Brett Finlay is a microbiologist and the co-author of The Microbiome Master Key. Today on the show, Brett explains what the microbiome is, how modern life — including our overemphasis on hygiene — has damaged it, and how the quality of your microbiome is connected to nine of the top ten leading causes of death, as well as everything from depression to Parkinson’s. Brett also shares how we can boost the health of our microbiome, including whether probiotic supplements are effective, how something as simple as flossing your teeth can cut your risk of Alzheimer’s by 50%, and why you might want to let your dog lick you in the face. Resources Related to the Podcast Let Them Eat Dirt documentaryAoM Article: How and Why to Eat More FiberAoM Article Don’t Be a Stick in the Mud — Why You Should Let Your Kids Get DirtyProbiotic gumConnect With Brett Finlay Brett’s faculty page

All the neurochemicals in the brain have to do with life in the present. Except for one: dopamine. Dopamine is the one neurochemical that looks to the future. It anticipates what may be to come and drives you towards it. That can be a good thing — dopamine is one powerful motivator — but it also has its downsides. Here to help us understand how the most important chemical in the brain works and how to deal with its pitfalls is Michael Long. Michael is a trained physicist turned writer whose latest book is Taming the Molecule of More. Mike and I discuss how dopamine, for better and worse, makes you want what you don't have. He shares what causes low dopamine activity, how to know if you're experiencing it, and what increases dopamine. We then talk about how to deal with the consequences of dopamine in some of the scenarios in which it plays a role — like losing the spark in a relationship and getting stuck in a smartphone scroll habit — and why so much of taming dopamine comes down to living in the here and now. We end our conversation with why The Great Gatsby is really a novel about dopamine and the fundamental answer to not letting the dopamine chase lead you around. Resources Related to the Podcast Mike's previous appearance on the AoM podcastAoM Article: How to Do a Dopamine ResetAoM Podcast #745: Do You Need to Take a Dopamine Fast?AoM Article: Your Life Explained Through DopamineConnect With Michael Long Taming the Molecule website

A lot of self-improvement advice and content feels empty. And there’s a reason for that. It often offers routines and habits to practice, but doesn’t offer a strong, overarching reason to practice them. That’s why the self-improvement advice of the Founding Fathers is particularly compelling. Though they were imperfect men, they had a clear why for trying to become better than they were. For the Founders, life was about the pursuit of happiness, and they equated happiness with excellence and virtue — a state that wasn’t about feeling good, but being good. The Founders pursued happiness not only for the personal benefit in satisfaction and tranquility it conferred, but for the way the attainment of virtue would benefit society as a whole; they believed that political self-government required personal self-government. Today on the show, Jeffrey Rosen, a professor of law, the president of the National Constitution Center, and the author of The Pursuit of Happiness, shares the book the Founders read that particularly influenced their idea of happiness as virtue and self-mastery. We talk about the schedules and routines the Founders kept, the self-examination practices they did to improve their character, and how they worked on their flaws, believing that, while moral perfection was ultimately an impossible goal to obtain, it was still something worth striving for. Resources Related to the Podcast AoM’s series on Benjamin Franklin’s 13 VirtuesBen Franklin Virtues Journal available in the AoM StoreAoM Article: Young Benjamin Franklin’s Plan of ConductAoM Article: Thomas Jefferson’s 10 Rules for LifeAoM Article: The Libraries of Famous Men — Thomas Jefferson’s Recommended ReadingAoM Article: The Best John Adams QuotesAoM Article: George Washington’s Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior in Company and ConversationAoM Podcast #366: Teach Yourself Like George WashingtonAoM Article: The Spiritual Disciplines — Study and Self-ExaminationTusculan Disputations by Marcus Tullius CiceroThe Golden Verses of Pythagoras Connect With Jeffrey Rosen The National Constitution Center website We the People podcastJeffrey’s faculty pageJeffrey on X