Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

We're thrilled to be welcoming back Brian G. Murphy as a guest to the show!Brian is an organizer, author, and certified relationship coach helping LGBTQ+ and polyamorous people build thriving relationships on their own terms... without shame or "should"s. Brian is also co-founder of QueerTheology.com, a resource hub, podcast, and online community, which explores how queerness and spirituality enrich one another. He has spoken at colleges, congregations, and conferences across the country and his work has been featured in Vice, BuzzFeed, The Huffington Post, The Advocate, Upworthy, and NBC News.Brian is the author of Love Beyond Monogamy, and co-author of Queers The Word and Reading The Bible Through Queer Eyes.Throughout this episode, we'll be chatting with Brian about spirituality, rituals, and sacred texts, all through a queer and polyamorous lens. Find Brian on Instagram, YouTube, and Threads @thisisbgm and be sure to check out Queer Theology and his books, all of which can be found at queertheology.com.Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Quality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, Uberlube and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORY,Get 10% off sexual health supplements at vb.health with promo code MULTI.Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're talking about polyamory under duress (PUD). Being non-monogamous comes with its own set of challenges, and sometimes when external pressure or internal conflicts can make it even more stressful. Dealing with polyamory under duress can be very difficult for our mental and emotional wellbeing, so today we're going to discuss why someone might be feeling duress in polyamory and who might be vulnerable to it. We'll also talk about how to recognize if you might be in a situation that qualifies as polyamory under duress, whether persuasion or coercion is involved in PUD, and how to bring a sense of equilibrium back to the relationship if you think it might resemble a PUD situation. From Nonmonogamy Help by Lola Phoenix: https://www.nonmonogamyhelp.com/what-is-polyamory-under-duress-pud/ Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Practice love every day with Paired, the #1 app for couples. Download the app at paired.com/MULTI.,Get 65% off Beducated's yearly pass for 150+ courses at https://beducate.me/pd2545-multiamory with code multiamory69 (nice)Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're excited to present a collaborative episode with Mr. and Mrs. Jones of We Gotta Thing podcast! Mr. & Mrs. Jones are the hosts of the We Gotta Thing podcast. They are social swingers who place the highest importance on their primary relationship while seeking friendships and meaningful sexual experiences with others, together as a team. Their podcast chronicles their journey into and through this lifestyle over the last decade. Everything they share is based on the perspective of their own personal preferences and experiences in the lifestyle. They believe there are many valid ways to approach non-monogamy that differ from theirs—they respect that even while sticking to and talking about what works for and appeals to them.During this collaboration, we interview Mr. and Mrs. Jones about their experiences in the swinger community, and then they interview us about polyamory/non-monogamy, and to wrap up the episode, we have a discussion about new relationship energy (NRE). Check out We Gotta Thing on Instagram and X @wegottathing, and make sure to give them a listen on your favorite podcast app!Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Practice love every day with Paired, the #1 app for couples. Download the app at paired.com/MULTI.,Get 10% off sexual health supplements at vb.health with promo code MULTI.Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're talking about planfulness, or thinking ahead and planning things like scheduling time together, managing life's obligations, or making date or travel plans. Some of us struggle with this, while others are skilled at it. We'll be discussing the individual differences in planfulness, why they exist, and what you can do to lessen the load on yourself if planning is difficult for you. Episode 552 PDF GuideIf you'd like the PDF guide for this episode and you're not a subscriber yet, please join our community to enjoy bonuses like these, as well as ad-free episodes and early releases. multiamory.com/joinJoin our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Get 20% off your first order of the world's smartest cat litter at prettylitter.com/multiamory with promo code MULTIAMORY,Quality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, Uberlube and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORYMultiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're tackling a question from a listener about managing jealousy and fear around a relationship where your partner dates other people like you. We'll be discussing insecurity, jealousy, self-love, and more while we break down this question and try to provide actionable advice.Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Get some sexy accessories and an amazing discount at Adam & Eve, Adam Male, and Eve's Toys. Use promo code MULTI for 50% OFF almost any item and free shipping on your entire order!,Get 10% off sexual health supplements at vb.health with promo code MULTI.Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're joined by a special guest we've had on the show before, Professor Annalisa Castaldo, to explore 'The Art of Courtly Love,' a medieval manuscript written 900 years ago that resembles a strange combination of romance novel, pickup artist manual, and incel manifesto. Professor Castaldo will be talking with us while we connect these medieval concepts of relationships to modern dating and discover how many of our common "romantic" traditions stem from problematic court culture. Join our amazing community of listeners at . We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Practice love every day with Paired, the #1 app for couples. Download the app at . Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack. Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by . Follow us on Instagram and visit our website . We are a proud member of the network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Quality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, Uberlube and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORYMultiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're dusting off an old episode about cohabiting with a partner. In it, we talk about why people move in together, questions to ask yourself about possibly moving in with a partner, and of course, conversations to have with your potential living partner. We also discuss some specific points about non-monogamy and cohabitation, and how to be or choose a good platonic roommate was well. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.com/join. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Get 20% off your first order of the world's smartest cat litter at prettylitter.com/multiamory with promo code MULTIAMORY,Get 10% off sexual health supplements at vb.health with promo code MULTI.Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Participate in this anonymous 20-30-minute survey here: Chapman University StudyThis year, we've partnered with OPEN and Dr. Amy Moors at Chapman University, a leading non-monogamy researcher, to bring a new level of academic rigor to this research!Why participate: This data directly supports advocacy work – previous surveys helped win legal protections in major cities. Eligibility: 18+ and practice any form of consensual non-monogamy (polyamory, open relationships, swinging, relationship anarchy, etc.)Study details: Chapman University IRB approved (IRB No. #26-13). Research questions: Dr. Amy Moors, moors@chapman.edu. IRB concerns: (714) 628-2833 or irb@chapman.edu.Survey LinkParticipation is completely voluntary and anonymous. Please share with your non-monogamous networks – more voices = better data = stronger advocacy! 💪Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're back with another Q&A episode from one of our Supercast subscribers. We'll be talking about relationship dynamics and what to do when a partner is dating a close friend, how to navigate the situation, and tips on better communication for everyone involved. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Practice love every day with Paired, the #1 app for couples. Download the app at paired.com/MULTI.Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're welcoming therapist Joe Nucci to the show to talk about myths about therapy and the effect they can have on your relationships. Joe is a licensed psychotherapist and content creator. His debut book, published by Harper, is called Psychobabble: Viral Mental Health Myths and the Truths to Set You Free. It's available wherever you get books starting September 23rd, 2025.Find more about Joe Nucci on his website https://joenuccitherapy.com/, or check him out on Instagram @joenuccitherapy. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Quality lube is essential for good sexual experiences. Try our absolute favorite, Uberlube and get 10% off plus free shipping with promo code MULTIAMORYMultiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Practice love every day with Paired, the #1 app for couples. Download the app at paired.com/MULTI.Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're discussing our drive to seek security in relationships, especially as economic uncertainty increases, and how sometimes, that can turn around and bite us. We'll be talking about why we seek security in relationships, some paradoxes of security, and as always, some tools to help better understand your own behavior around seeking security in your relationships. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Get 20% off your first order of the world's smartest cat litter at prettylitter.com/multiamory with promo code MULTIAMORYMultiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're talking about emotional intelligence, self-sabotage, and being objective about our thoughts and emotions. Have you ever had a thought that won't go away for a long time, especially a negative one about yourself? Sometimes our insecurities take advantage of us and encourage us to engage in self-sabotaging behavior. We're going to talk today about how to practice emotional regulation, self-sabotaging behavior, and more! Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Get 10% off sexual health supplements at vb.health with promo code MULTI.Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're revisiting agreements, but this time with ourselves, not others. We're going to be talking about agreements, self agreements, how they differ from boundaries, and ways to generate self agreements so that you can start exploring what you expect from yourself in relationships versus what you expect from others. Dedeker's ConstitutionFor subscribers only:Create Your Own Self Agreements Exercise PDFTo get access to the exercise above, please join our community to enjoy bonuses like these, as well as ad-free episodes and early releases. multiamory.com/joinJoin our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Practice love every day with Paired, the #1 app for couples. Download the app at paired.com/MULTI.Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we're bringing back a remastered episode about the ghosts of relationships past...and getting into a good relationship after being in a bad one. Do you have trouble trusting a good relationship? Are you always waiting for the other shoe to drop and things to turn bad? You might be suffering from relationship PTSD, which can inhibit your ability to enjoy a good, healthy relationship. Particularly if you have a history of past abusive, manipulative, controlling, or coercive, you can have trouble being present and open with a current partner. We're going to be diving into how relationship trauma can influence our present relationships, healthy behaviors that can seem destabilizing after a poor relationship, and some actionable ways you can help yourself heal and receive the love that's currently in front of you. Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory somatic retreat in northern Spain (September 22-25, 2025) - sliding scale pricing available, use code MULTI when you apply at www.multiamory.com/retreat.Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Practice love every day with Paired, the #1 app for couples. Download the app at paired.com/MULTI.,Get 10% off sexual health supplements at vb.health with promo code MULTI.Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, we're answering a question from one of our subscribers: how do I introduce my polyamorous partner to my monogamous parents? We'll be discussing ways to approach coming out to family, share some tips on how to make social situations run smoothly, and ways to handle potential conflict or big emotions. If you want one of your questions answered on a future Q&A episode, consider becoming a Supercast subscriber at www.multiamory.com/join Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Get 20% off your first order of the world's smartest cat litter at prettylitter.com/multiamory with promo code MULTIAMORYMultiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, we're discussing why we struggle to put the communication and relationship lessons we learn into practice. Current generations are more therapy-literate than ever, but that doesn't mean our relationships are healthier. What happens when everyone knows the psychological buzzwords but hasn't done the deeper work of integration and change? We're diving into the reasons why learning how to do relationships better isn’t always enough, talk about the research available on the topic, and of course, finally give you some practical tools to bridge the gap between insight and real change.Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory somatic retreat in northern Spain (September 22-25, 2025) - sliding scale pricing available, use code MULTI when you apply at www.multiamory.com/retreat.Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Get 10% off sexual health supplements at vb.health with promo code MULTI.Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to our series on control! This week, we're talking about control from the perspective of the person who wants to have the control or power in the relationship. There are a multitude of reasons why someone might want to control another person, which we're going to explore in this episode. We'll also discuss the science of control, and talk about a few ways one can move away from controlling behavior and towards a more loving and equitable relationship. Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory somatic retreat in northern Spain (September 22-25, 2025) - sliding scale pricing available, use code MULTI when you apply at www.multiamory.com/retreatJoin our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices