Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

We're revisiting agreements, but this time with ourselves, not others. We're going to be talking about agreements, self agreements, how they differ from boundaries, and ways to generate self agreements so that you can start exploring what you expect from yourself in relationships versus what you expect from others. Dedeker's ConstitutionFor subscribers only:Create Your Own Self Agreements Exercise PDFTo get access to the exercise above, please join our community to enjoy bonuses like these, as well as ad-free episodes and early releases. multiamory.com/joinJoin our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Practice love every day with Paired, the #1 app for couples. Download the app at paired.com/MULTI.Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we're bringing back a remastered episode about the ghosts of relationships past...and getting into a good relationship after being in a bad one. Do you have trouble trusting a good relationship? Are you always waiting for the other shoe to drop and things to turn bad? You might be suffering from relationship PTSD, which can inhibit your ability to enjoy a good, healthy relationship. Particularly if you have a history of past abusive, manipulative, controlling, or coercive, you can have trouble being present and open with a current partner. We're going to be diving into how relationship trauma can influence our present relationships, healthy behaviors that can seem destabilizing after a poor relationship, and some actionable ways you can help yourself heal and receive the love that's currently in front of you. Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory somatic retreat in northern Spain (September 22-25, 2025) - sliding scale pricing available, use code MULTI when you apply at www.multiamory.com/retreat.Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Practice love every day with Paired, the #1 app for couples. Download the app at paired.com/MULTI.,Get 10% off sexual health supplements at vb.health with promo code MULTI.Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, we're answering a question from one of our subscribers: how do I introduce my polyamorous partner to my monogamous parents? We'll be discussing ways to approach coming out to family, share some tips on how to make social situations run smoothly, and ways to handle potential conflict or big emotions. If you want one of your questions answered on a future Q&A episode, consider becoming a Supercast subscriber at www.multiamory.com/join Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Get 20% off your first order of the world's smartest cat litter at prettylitter.com/multiamory with promo code MULTIAMORYMultiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, we're discussing why we struggle to put the communication and relationship lessons we learn into practice. Current generations are more therapy-literate than ever, but that doesn't mean our relationships are healthier. What happens when everyone knows the psychological buzzwords but hasn't done the deeper work of integration and change? We're diving into the reasons why learning how to do relationships better isn’t always enough, talk about the research available on the topic, and of course, finally give you some practical tools to bridge the gap between insight and real change.Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory somatic retreat in northern Spain (September 22-25, 2025) - sliding scale pricing available, use code MULTI when you apply at www.multiamory.com/retreat.Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Get 10% off sexual health supplements at vb.health with promo code MULTI.Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to our series on control! This week, we're talking about control from the perspective of the person who wants to have the control or power in the relationship. There are a multitude of reasons why someone might want to control another person, which we're going to explore in this episode. We'll also discuss the science of control, and talk about a few ways one can move away from controlling behavior and towards a more loving and equitable relationship. Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory somatic retreat in northern Spain (September 22-25, 2025) - sliding scale pricing available, use code MULTI when you apply at www.multiamory.com/retreatJoin our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community.Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to part one of our deep dive into control in relationships! Every relationship has power dynamics, but when they get out of control it can be devastating. In this episode, we'll be discussing the experience of loss of control in a relationship, why it might happen, and what to do if you find yourself on this end of the control spectrum. Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory somatic retreat in northern Spain (September 22-25, 2025) - sliding scale pricing available, use code MULTI when you apply at www.multiamory.com/retreat. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're tackling a question from one of our Supercast subscribers about equity in multiple relationships, feel prioritized, and how to handle tough conversations about energy, money, and mismatched desire in relationships. Become one of our Supercast subscribers at multiamory.com/join to get your question answered on a future Q&A episode! Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory somatic retreat in northern Spain (September 22-25, 2025) - sliding scale pricing available, use code MULTI when you apply at www.multiamory.com/retreat. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Get 20% off your first order of the world's smartest cat litter at prettylitter.com/multiamory with promo code MULTIAMORY Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack. Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand. Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, we're diving into what happens when a partner asks you to change, whether it's a small behavioral change or a big fundamental or values change. Regardless of what kind, change can be difficult, for both the one asking for change and the one being asked to change. We're going to discuss the feelings that arise when being asked to change as well as evaluating what is and isn't acceptable to ask of someone. Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory somatic retreat in northern Spain (September 22-25, 2025) - sliding scale pricing available, use code MULTI when you apply at www.multiamory.com/retreat. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack. Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand. Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're joined by Julie Krafchick and Yue Xu from the podcast Dateable to talk about--you guessed it--how to be dateable. We're going to be talking about traditional dating advice, dating archetypes, different perspectives on dating, and more! Julie and Yue are active daters turned dating insiders, and top influential voices of modern dating, relationships, and connection in the digital world. They’re the authors of How To Be Dateable: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Person and Falling in Love and the co-hosts of the hit podcast Dateable, which has been named one of the top podcasts about modern dating and relationships by the New York Times, The Huffington Post, Oprah Daily, and more. Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory somatic retreat in northern Spain (September 22-25, 2025) - sliding scale pricing available, use code MULTI when you apply at www.multiamory.com/retreat. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack. Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand. Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're returning to attachment theory this week as we go over some of the criticisms it has faced since rising in popularity. For some, attachment theory has been a powerful tool of self-discovery, but others dismiss it as pseudo pop psychology. Where do you fall on that spectrum of credibility? Today we're discussing the cases for and against attachment theory and whether or not non-monogamy can help heal unhealthy attachments. For more fundamentals on attachment theory, check out https://www.multiamory.com/podcast/291-attachment-theory-and-polyamory and https://www.multiamory.com/podcast/82-attachment-styles Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory somatic retreat in northern Spain (September 22-25, 2025) - sliding scale pricing available, use code MULTI when you apply at www.multiamory.com/retreat. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're back with another Q&A episode this week! Today we'll be discussing some listener questions about using the word "love" in a relationship, polyamorous identity, and talking about non-monogamy with friends and family who think it's all about the sex. Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory somatic retreat in northern Spain (September 22-25, 2025) - sliding scale pricing available, use code MULTI when you apply at www.multiamory.com/retreat. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack. Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand. Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're bringing back a popular episode on relationship conflict. We're talking about three different patterns that show up in conflicts, how to recognize which one is showing up for yourself, and discuss some ways to disrupt the pattern and create new choreography with your partner(s). Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory somatic retreat in northern Spain (September 22-25, 2025) - sliding scale pricing available, use code MULTI when you apply at www.multiamory.com/retreat. Get 20% off your first order of the world's smartest cat litter at https://prettylitter.com/multiamory prettylitter.com/multiamory with promo code MULTIAMORY Join our amazing community of listeners at https://multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack. Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand https://joshandanand.bandcamp.com/music. Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/multiamory_podcast/ @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website https://www.multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the https://www.pleasurepodcasts.com/ Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're discussing cognitive reappraisal, or the notion of thinking your way out of a negative emotional response to a given situation. We'll be going over research available on cognitive reappraisal, what it looks like in real life, and whether or not it's just gaslighting yourself into feeling like your relationship is better than it actually is. Join Dedeker and Orit Krug for our polyamory somatic retreat in northern Spain (September 22-25, 2025) - sliding scale pricing available, use code MULTI when you apply at www.multiamory.com/retreat. Join our amazing community of listeners at https://multiamory.supercast.com We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack. Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by https://joshandanand.bandcamp.com/music Follow us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/multiamory_podcast/ and visit our website https://www.multiamory.com We are a proud member of the https://www.pleasurepodcasts.com/ Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we're getting into the nitty gritty details of ending relationships, whether it's by breaking up or de-escalating. We'll be discussing all the different ways relationships constantly change, defining some terms for uncoupling, how to navigate the challenges of separating, and some practical ways you can make these transitions smoother, healthier, and a more positive experience for everyone. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Practice love every day with Paired, the #1 app for couples. Download the app at paired.com/MULTI. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack. Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand. Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're talking about a universal human experience: wanting to feel better after a relationship ends. However, a lot of us end up seeking the wrong type of closure, and we can stay stuck in pain for even longer. In this episode we're going to discuss the difference between searching for answers and wanting to feel true acceptance, the science behind our need for closure, and of course, some practical tools to figure out what kind of closure you might need. The Seattle Erotic Art Festival is May 2, 3, &4. Get 10% off select festival passes at seaf.art/tickets with code: MULTI Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack. Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand. Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're answering some more listener questions! We'll be tackling some questions about moving too fast in relationships, relationship hierarchy, and primary versus non-primary relationships. Want your question answered on a future Q&A episode? Become on of our Supercast subscribers at multiamory.com/join on a sliding scale! Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack. Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand. Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. The Seattle Erotic Art Festival is May 2, 3, &4. Get 10% off select festival passes at seaf.art/tickets by using code MULTIAMORY. Pretty Litter keeps your house smelling fresh and clean. Save 20% on your first order and get a free cat toy with code Multiamory at https://PrettyLitter.com/multiamory We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're talking about metamour relationships with Alex Alberto. Alex is a queer author, publisher, and filmmaker. Last year, Alex published their memoir, “Entwined: Essays on Polyamory and Creating Home” through Quilted Press, a collective of independent authors they co-founded. This year, Alex is producing a short film called “Coming Out Polyamorous for Thanksgiving,” which is based on an essay from Entwined. Alex also leads writers' retreats and courses at Scrappy Literary, and some of their classes focus on helping writers of all levels write about non-monogamy and unconventional relationships. Alex is originally from Montreal but lives in Upstate New York with their partner, metamour, and kids. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack. Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand. Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. The Seattle Erotic Art Festival is May 2, 3, &4. Get 10% off select festival passes at seaf.art/tickets! We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're excited to welcome Diana Adams and Brett Chamberlain back to the show to discuss advocacy, relationship rights, and more. Diana Adams (they/them) is an international legal leader in advocacy for queer family forms beyond the romantic dyad. Diana is the Executive Director of Chosen Family Law Center, a nonprofit advocating for diverse family structures, & runs a boutique law firm providing mediation services nationwide for those hoping to negotiate intentional or polyamorous families. Diana’s TED talk ‘Why US Laws Must Expand Beyond the Nuclear Family’ explains their expansive vision of family. Find them on all socials @DianaAdamsEsq. Brett Chamberlin (he/him) is a social impact organizer with over a decade of leadership experience building a more just and joyous future. He is the founder and Executive Director of OPEN, the Organization for Polyamory and Ethical Non-monogamy. Prior to launching OPEN, Brett worked in the environmental movement as the Director of Community Engagement at The Story of Stuff Project and the co-founder of the Post Landfill Action Network. Check out the legislative toolkit from OPEN for ways to help further local legislation in your area: harvard.turtl.co/story/polyamory-legislative-toolkit. Download the 5 calls app to contact your representatives and hold them accountable: https://5calls.org/. Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack. Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand. Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're back with another Q&A episode! Today we're answering some questions from our Supercast subscribers about organizing local polyamory meetups, how to handle guilt you feel even when a partner is telling you not to feel guilty, and strategies to deal with missing a partner you don't live with. If you want to have your question answered on a future Q&A episode, visit multiamory.com/join to become one of our Supercast subscribers! Join our amazing community of listeners at multiamory.supercast.com. We offer sliding scale subscriptions so everyone can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, and our amazing Discord community. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Follow us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast and visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our audiobook is out now at all major audiobook retailers! Learn more at multiamory.com/book Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices